And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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