don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
