from now on my penis is your penis
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He shit in the fireplace
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
