hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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