Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
