The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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