Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize