Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
