You don't have asthma, your pregnant
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
