You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He felt like a one man threesome
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
