I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
