You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
