6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
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She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
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Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..