Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.