I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
