hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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