What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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