i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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