I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize