69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
