I just made out with a guy for $7.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
