p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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