Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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