Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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