if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
