I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
