i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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