New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
