worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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