DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
