god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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