So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
