I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
