I'm lost and stupid without you.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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