he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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