so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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