On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
