What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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