The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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