We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
