on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
