paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
When are your genitals available?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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