i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
