His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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