We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
