therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
