I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Is it because I queefed?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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