I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
