he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
please don't ironically join a cult
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