i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
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