The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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