Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
