did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I wish there were birth control emojis
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
