i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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