Are we in a gay sports bar?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
