I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
