There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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