if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
