If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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