All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
someone owes me an orgasm
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
